

When we hear the word selfish, we think of a person who is self-centered, egotistical, and mainly concerned with their own wants and needs without regard for the interests of others. On the surface, that sounds horrible and utterly vile. Society has trained us to think that we all need to be self-less, meaning that we should think of others before we think of ourselves. Philosophers refer to the philosophy of putting others first as “altruism”. We have been taught that we should usually think of what others need and what others want before we think of our own needs and wants.
Literally, from birth, we are told that we should fight against our selfish nature so that we can serve others. However, if you explore selfishness objectively, you will see that only the person who truly understands the concept of enlightened self-interest can ever really be of value to another person. In fact, enlightened selfishness leads to more virtuous outcomes than crude selflessness can ever produce.
Ayn Rand, the Russian immigrant who became a great American novelist, made her living writing about the virtue of selfishness and crafting her philosophy into works of fiction with grand themes. Her breakout book, “The Fountainhead”, tells the story of a man, Howard Roark, who lives his life completely for his own purposes with a laser focus on his own desire to achieve. The character of Howard Roark rises above and beyond every single obstacle he faces. Roark is Ayn Rand’s perfect Man – her flawless hero.
All of Ayn Rand’s books stress the importance of living for yourself and letting no one live for you. However, here’s the aspect of Ayn Rand’s philosophy that her critics often miss – she also demands that the person who does not wish to be a slave to others, must also never ask another person to become a slave to them. Mankind’s only purpose, according to Rand, was to achieve happiness without ever asking anyone to sacrifice their own happiness for yours. This kind of selfishness does not mean just doing what you want all the time. Doing the easy thing will eventually lead to failure and misery instead of to achievement and happiness. The truly selfish can see beyond short-term human desires so that they are able to achieve what they really desire to accomplish over the long-term.
Ironically, often it is the truly selfish who best understand why it is such a bad idea to ever take unfair advantage of another human being. This is because a world where the rights of others aren’t respected will eventually trample on your own rights. This is the real meaning of the “Golden Rule”, if you think about it!
Society often applauds selflessness without thinking about how a world of people sacrificing themselves to each other could ever survive for very long. The selfless person logically will someday become so focused on self-sacrifice that they will eventually need someone to take care of them. Also, the selfless servant will eventually become bitter and will grow to resent those who, in their opinion, aren’t sacrificing as much as they are sacrificing. Soon, the selfless servant will want to figure out a way to make sure everyone else is sacrificing exactly the same and will resent those who find ways to pursue their own happiness.
We are ever evolving and constantly changing; the only person that can completely know us, inside and out is ourselves. But if we are trying to please others all the time, we will soon become a stranger to our own hopes and desires. Then at the end of the day no one will know our true hearts, and that makes for a world full of unhappy strangers each believing the other person isn’t doing their fair share for the good of others.
If we were selfish all the time and constantly worried about being true to self, we would then be free of having to worry about the shallow opinions of others. They would be consumed in their own lives and focused on achieving their own happiness. We wouldn’t be worried about what other people thought of our hair or our clothes, it simply wouldn’t matter what they thought and they wouldn’t be thinking about it because they wouldn’t care, either. Being self-interested, interestingly, can be the opposite of being self-conscious!
In a world defined by enlightened self-interest, no one is asked to sacrifice. Rather, people naturally will discover ways that it is in their own best interest to voluntarily work with others who value what they can offer so that the person can get what they want from the deal. Charity, then, becomes the act of achieving a value. If I value my family, then I am not “sacrificing” anything when I invest my time, resources, energy and love into them, am I? No, I’m creating my own happiness by acting according to what I value the most!
Have you ever considered that when someone tells you that they are “sacrificing” for you what it is that they are actually saying? They are actually telling you that they don’t value you because if they valued you enough to invest their time, resources and love into you, then their acts of generosity really couldn’t be called a “sacrifice”, could they?
Imagine a world where the most important thing was your own happiness. Imagine a world where you would be living for you and no one else and others would live only for themselves. In this world, “goodness” and “happiness” become one in the same thing. The good news is you do live in a world where that is possible! All it takes is you and your mind. You simply have to know yourself! You have to completely get rid of other people’s ideologies and find your own, based on what YOU think. And, don’t forget, you must NEVER intentionally take advantage of another person.
Picture in your mind everyone following their own bliss so long as their actions did not harm others. This is the world that Ayn Rand envisioned and it is the world that we could create, if we really understood the virtue of selfishness!
Shaynie & Me at Aliso Beach
School, moving, busyness... yeah, all that stuff!! ha! ha! Let's just say I've had a lot going on. It's all good, so no worries ![]()
Anyway, here's the update:
My dad and my frommie (friend/step-mom) had to move back to Kentucky. He'd been out here for almost a year and half and it is unbelievably expensive. I was disappointed but my parents rock for being so supportive of my acting. So, I decided Arizona was the next best thing to California and I'm living with my mom in Vail, Arizona. Yes, that means new school and all that good stuff! I like my new school but miss all my good friends in Aliso Viejo.
I'm in L.A. the past couple of days for auditions and got a call back from Disney for a pilot that will shoot in January. So, I've got my fingers crossed once again for my next big break. I'm excited to be back in L.A. for the 1st time in weeks and that's cool whether I get the part or not. I'm lucky to have such a great manager (Marnie Cooper) and agency (Abrams Artists) to keep working hard for me even though I'm not living in the L.A. area right now.
I don't think I ever updated that I got down to the final 6 actors for a role on HBO's Big Love. It stinks to get soooooo close and then not get a big role like that!!
I will start posting more regularly so come back soon and I'll give you all the latest scoop!
XOXO,
Gracie


Me & Warren at Dad & Niki's Wedding